Some truth…

The day my final occupancy permit was approved for the restaurant, I couldn’t have wanted to leave town any more than that day. Not only was the vision of what I wanted awash in weird interpersonal politics, people had wasted my time so much that by the time I turned on the open sign I owed two months of rent and had to figure out how to pay employees I had ensured had a job.

Little by little things came together. I drank, I worked, I drank some more, I worked. Good and bad came along with the adventure. Of all the bad things that came along with my place, I had some really good things. Casey was probably the best manager I could have asked for. Aside from some minor fundamental disagreements, I didn’t think I would ever have someone like her that I could totally trust with the business. Unfortunately, at the end of it all decisions were made that in a way, I wish I could change.

The decision to sell came after a plethora of battles within my own head. I had so many options, yet getting out of town won through.

I spoke with a realtor that I thought would have my best interests. Boy, was I wrong. What a crook. The initial offer was great. I could recoup the money I spent on the whole thing and walk away at a solid baseline of zero. Of course, the desperation I had to leave could not be masked. The asshole of a property manager that took over the complex made for an interesting negotiation. I had eight months left on my lease and I made if very clear that I would NOT be continuing. Even if it meant clearing all the equipment out on that final day and throwing it in the trash. Figuring I would try to do the prudent thing and sell it, I was railroaded and in a way I really don’t mind it now.

The buyers (so it was told by the idiot realtor) offered to sign a new five year lease if they could have three months free rent. A-fucking-mazing! I’ll take it. Wouldn’t ya know, the property manger, who didn’t like that I scored such a good deal on my initial lease declined to sign. He said I would have to pay for the free rent if they wanted that offer. You’re kidding me right?

Logistically the cards fell out of my favor. The buyers had the leverage of a crook of a realtor, the asinine nature of a property manager, and were a couple who had a sudden sense of entitlement and power because of the deal they were scoring.

Being a nice guy, who wanted nothing more than to be done with it all, I offered any help to the new buyers. Of course, the prick of a guy thought I was useless to him and he of course knew everything there was to know about this place. Him and his wife played the role of talking shit about me for quite some time after the deal was done. Contracts to be transferred over during the sale of the business never occurred and a peculiar consequence of their sheer ignorance caused their power, gas and telephone to be shut off because a few weeks after the sale I was informed it was all still in my name. I made the call and said ‘shut it down, right now.’ I think the electric stayed on but the gas man locked out the valve and the phone service was gone. Oh, and the phone number they thought they would get wasn’t transferred over because they didn’t buy the ‘business’ they bought the assets and the right to conduct business as I was.

So many issues I could discuss, but the primary thing I want to share is that I didn’t fail.

Quite a few people offered condolences to me after I was done with the place. I looked upon them in confusion because regardless of what the naysayers think, my business was successful. The support system I thought I had throughout is what failed me. I took my losses and moved on, regardless of what it did to my credibility. Even though the players at the end turned against me and made me out to look like the asshole, I was in fact the asshole that created it from damn near nothing. Oh, and the place is still standing as a testament to the foundation that I created. The current owners will never ever admit to even themselves that someone else actually gave birth to their business, but I did. They don’t know the agony of getting up at five in the morning to build a place while fighting with county inspectors, health departments, vendors, employee interviews, contractors that never fucking showed up… It’s cool though right?
I could write a blog spanning more words than this entire years worth of what I went through during the course of opening and running this business.

Some will conclude that it was all about the money. It wasn’t. Sure, I hoped for busier days to pay the bills a little farther ahead but I was never really worried about making any money for any given day. What I was worried about was a complete meltdown of the superficial support system that I had arbitrarily created. I beat it to the punch.

One of the best feelings in the world when I had my place was to send food out and look through the kitchen window to see someone take a first bite of one of my hamburgers. The reaction from countless people is something that is keeping the fire alive inside me to create something more… Later on of course… And to the older lady that started crying when I said I was selling, that was enough to make me realize that I have no business listening to anyone bad mouth who I am and what I can do.

Down the line I have paid the price of having to hear people belittle me under their breath. Now, I understand that people really don’t care about me and don’t spend every waking minute of their day discussing what they think of me, but each and every tidbit of shit talking that I hear adds up and reminds me that though I want to give people the benefit of the doubt, I need to trust my gut when I believe people don’t have the integrity I think they should.

Until the next crazy thing I do in my life, I’m going to live as if everything is just gettin’ by. I want to see who my real, no-shit friends are. I want to see who stands by me expecting nothing in return. It is then, that I will feel the desire to share more of who I really am, and what I can really do…

How to love…

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

I’m a cynical citationist so I did a quick google search on the origin of that quote. Because everything we get from the Internet is true, apparently Mark Twain didn’t actually come up with that… A lot of sites say it came from a guy named Brown, who incidentally didn’t want to take credit for it. Whatever… I did a bit of due diligence and consider this my citation…

Regardless of who formulated those words so eloquently, it is one of my favorite quotes… Ever…

When I lived on Turtle Sloop (my sailboat for you new readers), it was a curious notion to realize that I was separated from the rest of the world by two simple lines. Sometimes three when the windy season came about. Even for simple half day jaunts around the inlet, once I was free of the bowline, freedom set in.

I could relate very easily to this quote because of my maritime passion, but of course it is also meant to be applicable to many aspects of anybody’s life. I truly truly truly wish I could do more with my life. I wish I could get over the fears I have about doing certain things. The unwarranted excuses I give myself for not going forth with things seem ridiculous in hindsight. Coulda, woulda, shoulda right?

I’m about to set sail on yet again, another crazy adventure in my life. I’m down to the last few weeks of driving truck before I head to Southern California to settle in. Hopefully for the long haul. Pun totally not intended. Just as flight school was essentially a self inflicted punishment for myself, this past summer has served its purpose well. And just like the handshake I got when I passed my commercial pilot check-ride, the final dispatch I get (hopefully back to Washington so I can get my car) will be the signal to me that life is once again, about to take me for a crazy ride.

As much as I want to love people all around, some are just plain shitty. Yea yea, everyone is fighting their own battle but fuck man, there are people that are down to their last dying breath that are more kind than some of these assholes among us. That being said, for the people out there willing to act in any civil manner, I would offer every bit of love I can. No homo, guys. Part of that love I wish I could share would follow the general mantra of the aforementioned quote. Whoever the hell said that.

Not everyone should strive to rise above all humanity… The race is futile. However, within the worlds we create for ourselves we should never be afraid to take chances. To explore. To risk failure for hope of something greater. To realize that no matter what we do, no one really matters except the ones you love. And the ones who judge you for who you are, are nothing more than the assholes that are inevitably going to be amongst all of us.

There’s nothing wrong with sitting up a little taller, taking a deep breath in and looking to the sky. Whatever the reason we are here, it is in fact part of something bigger. For you, it could be your spouse, your kids, your family or even your friends. For others it could be for the ones you have yet to meet in your life.

We should try to stay kind, stay generous and with a bit of careful choosing, love one another like we want to be loved.

Signal…

I decided to stop at a place tonight that I was sure would have reliable internet… Of course my luck has it, I can’t get a signal to save my life. So, I’m hoping to write something and stand with a foot in the air while I stick my thumb in my ass in hopes of grabbing a signal just long enough to upload something…

Seems to be the story of my life. I can’t get a decent signal. I give people and things the benefit of the doubt too much and I end up getting the shaft. I remember about ten years ago I was going to throw a few thousand bucks into some stocks. I was getting tired of the futures market and wanted something a little more mainstream for a change. I thought it would be cool to research the companies behind the big-ass cable that runs along the ocean floor and connects places like North America and Europe. Soo, I land at Tyco. Wow, cool… Their prospectus seemed in shape and the outlook was great… Well, for some stupid reason (the reason had a vagina), I held off on investing… Good thing because Tyco has about the same investment value of Enron. I got lucky on that, but I didn’t see the signals that any prudent trader should have seen. Phew…

My dating life is about the same way. Actually, even my ‘friend’ life works that way as well. Hell, my wifi scoping skills are on par with all of my life as well. Seems that I can’t quite get the signal or ‘hint’ as we know it…

I’d love to meet myself in the polar opposite universe that I’m sure I’m living in.

In love…

When I started this blog project I was influenced by a cool little quote/graphic picked off those crazy social media sites. It was something about writing a book where the author falls in love with the reader. I’d search it and paste it here but I’m feeling lazy right now.

As I finished my blog last night, I came up with an idea to think of better ways to write and communicate what I’m thinking. How effective would it be to put myself in the shoes of a ‘reader?’ I started coming up with all sorts of ideas and avenues of thought to help me understand the mindset of someone who reads and what they might get out of it. Some people like short stories to escape the real world for a while, some like to read for research or insight into another point of view, some read simply for fun. Some people read for reasons I will never understand. As I started to drift off to sleep some very vivid pictures came to mind. I can’t explain them in words quite yet but whatever these things were that I was seeing, I was falling in love with.

My writing sucks. It’s very biased and for what it’s worth, very self centered. The technical aspect leaves much to be desired and none of my writings would be of any worth in an academic realm. I can barely tell a good story. Sometimes I’ll vomit up some cynically funny story about sex or stupidity or weird social anomalies, but for the most part, it’s really the same old story from me.

Though I write it’s for myself, I’m really writing for the reader. All I can really do is base my worth on the number of ‘likes’ or comments I get and can barely assume that people enjoy it by the statistics I see on the back end of wordpress. Given my desire to not commercialize this particular aspect of my life, I am very pleased with the ‘return on investment’ for my time. After several hundred thousands of words this year, I’m glad I did this.

I do this because I want to fall in love with the reader. Though I feel I may never achieve it totally, I want to fall in love with the idea that what I do is in fact not for my own personal gain. The minuscule enjoyment that people may get out of reading these weird little posts may be a signal to me to change the way I think about success in my life.

If I could come up with a better way to convey my feelings about things (in a way that is socially acceptable), I’d feel quite a bit more content. For now, Here’s my story…

Fuzzy cuffs…

I have a peculiar way about me that makes some people turn their backs to me. This isn’t a pouty little entry about how no one likes me… Waaah… I know that plenty of people like me in their own special way. I was sitting here thinking about all kinds of situations I’ve found myself in over the past fifteen years or so of my life and there’s a striking commonality with events in my life.

Girlfriends and even friends have been unfaithful to me. People have befriended me at times for superficial reasons. Even complete strangers treat me like I’m a strange object for their affection. Affection for whatever it is they are thinking about and want me to be influenced by it. People don’t like my approach a lot of times. I have a dry sense of humor and I’m fairly passive… To a point…

I’ve noticed some of these consignees that I deliver to are complete assholes. Some guy in Minnesota at SuperValue foods starting getting pissy like a spoiled thirteen year old because I wanted to verify I was in the correct spot because the address on the shipping papers conflicted with my dispatch. Simple question but when he threw my paperwork down and walked away from me I simply turned around to go back to the truck. As I turned around I voiced my broad opinion and said something that I’m actually going to censor from this blog. He got the point that I could really care less about whatever the hell I was delivering. My job description does not state anything about having to put up with shit like his. Eventually it all got taken care of and I finally left that place. Maybe it was just Minnesota… Even the dispatchers at some of these terminals are total cockwads. I called one lady and started to say what I needed and mid sentence she said in a very cuntish tone, ‘what’s your truck number?’ Ok, so I told her. She asked what I needed… As soon as the first word came out of my mouth she got even more cuntish and exclaimed ‘you’re going to have to speak up or call back some other time, I can’t play this game right now.’ Wow… Ok…

I’m sure that story fits in with this idea somehow. Thing is, I’ve made a constant effort in the past many years of my life to be considerate and understanding when it comes to dealing with people. I try to be nice to fast food workers, bankers, toll booth operators, school administration and for the most part complete strangers. When people turn on me, I typically don’t snap back. I simply close up my thoughts and work on my plan of attack to leave the situation.

I’ve also tried to be more considerate to people that come into my life. Maybe it can be called accommodating. The last roommate situation I was in, I made sure to keep my ‘crap’ out of common areas and respect the space and peace of others. Apparently things don’t get reciprocated like I would expect. There was a fast approaching breaking point for me and I decided it would be best to leave. Now all I have to deal with is my personal business being talked about and judgement being passed by people who might not be aware that I do cover myself with keeping evidence of nefarious activities… Just to keep the playing field level…

My accommodation also comes in the form of simply being concerned of someone else’s well being when they are around me. A funny little incident happened a while back. I was in bed with someone and she seemed quite uncomfortable throughout the night. I woke up because I had the sense that she was awake. She was tossing and turning and in the haze of waking up it seemed like she was on the verge of saying something… So I asked very quietly ‘are you awake?’ Dumb question I know, but if she was asleep I’d let her sleep obviously… Apparently she’s a light sleeper because she jumped up in a sort of panic and flopped out of the bed. ‘Whats going on? What time is it?’ I… Uhh… It’s like 4 am, I was seeing if you were ok…. She actually got pissed at me for waking her up. Sorry? Go back to sleep? But no, she decided to immediately get out of the bed, get dressed and leave to go do whatever the hell it is she does… Later that day I was actually quite irritated at her because of that (amongst other things). I said, ‘ya know, sorry I woke you but you didn’t need to react that way. I was making sure you were ok because it seemed like you were either uncomfortable or maybe needed something…’ End result of that day was me realizing that although some people don’t know how to handle my version of concern and consideration, I’m not planning on changing anytime soon… And no, me and this girl were not, and never have had sex. It’d probably be awesome if we did, but she’s got a few too many ‘other guy’ issues to work out.

If you made it this far, here’s where the meat of my blog idea takes place.

None of us can make everyone happy all the time. Someone is going to have a problem with something that we do at some point. It could be your past, your present or your future plans. Trying to please people is seemingly a dead end road… But it’s not.

I don’t ever regret being nice to someone. I don’t ever regret taking charge of a situation. I don’t ever regret trying to get along with others. I don’t regret being considerate or kind or even a bit ‘too nice’. When it comes to looking at a prospective relationship with someone, I am in fact a nice guy. I wait to make the first move. I’m cautious when I express how I feel. Even with friends, I try to be less difficult when it comes to whatever it is that we are doing. I’m an easy guy and I know that it’s not all about me.

So the conundrum about nice guys finishing last versus sometimes it’s best to just take control… I get it. I really do. Sometimes I just have to speak my mind. I guess I have to be a dick sometimes. That is, if it’s meant to be all about me…

I keep a pair of fuzzy handcuffs to remind me of who I am at heart. Once someone lets me in, it’s Game on! The handcuffs resemble a control that I am completely comfortable having with someone else, yet making it have nothing to do with me. I want to earn the trust of others to the point where they know I’m not going to betray them. If they want to betray me, then it’s a whole other story. I’m a passive person on the outside but there is still in fact a little fire inside me that I wish to be able to share with someone else again. Preferably with someone who appreciates my attempt at being considerate and can work through my social awkwardness…

I’m apologetic about a lot of things that are a result of my actions but I am not apologetic about who I am and who I want to be.

That smell…

Sitting here at a rest stop in South Dakota… Working my way back to Washington and then onward to California for the official move. Not that I have a lot of stuff to move, but I’ll be starting school and a new job..l can’t frickin wait…

It sure stinks out here. It’s pretty much the cows I think. Maybe it’s me… All I know is this neck of the woods is not my kind of place. It is however a really interesting state for a road trip someday. The badlands, black hills… Once I find a good travel companion I may like to take a few weeks and drive around the US in a non-big vehicle so I can pull off and explore a little bit.

Just keepin’ the flow going with some sort of blog again. A million things on my mind but I can’t write a single one… Looks like I’m going to go back to watching cat videos for the rest of the night…

The box…

Another ‘part two’ for my daily blog… Of a totally different topic…

I’ve come across a lot of articles and blogs about sex and relationships and happiness lately. I’m sure it’s not a trend out of the ordinary but probably something that I need more of in my life.

I’ve been stuck on this god-forsaken truck for just about two months. When I was assigned the truck it had a generally clean appearance to it. For having a ton of miles on it, I was impressed. Aaand then I drove it down the road. It’s only an eight speed. For those who drive manual transmissions, the performance behind shifting this thing is like starting your car out in first gear then having to shift all the way to fourth gear to accelerate. Literally, it’s just like that. It sucks ass. I’ll be maxed out on RPMs even with a light load and go to shift to the next gear and it damn near stalls out. The RPMs are immediately too low for the turbo to kick in so I end up having to slam it back into the higher gear and run up the RPMs…. Can this fuckin’ thing just blow up already? I could really use a splitter these days…

Not sure why I decided to write all that, but at least I got it off my chest… Speaking of chest, I finally saw a pair of naked boobs in a car this week! The highlight of my life right now. But really, what’s the point of seeing boobs if you can’t do anything with em’?

Ya know what I miss? Blow jobs? Nah… Never been a big fan of those… Beer? Well, yea but it’ll come soon enough… I miss something I’ve never quite had completely… A relationship…

The regular sex, and cuddling and general companionship is of course on the list of what I miss, but I want something more. I’m a weird dude, ain’t gunna lie. I don’t know what it is that turns people off so much but I constantly try to figure it out… Reminds me of when I got a job recently and I asked one of the workers what everyone thought of me. (This place had mostly females)… I wanted workable feedback but all I got was… ‘Well, we all think you’re hot’… Seriously? ‘And *name omitted* thinks you have a nice butt… Oops, was that not want you meant?’ Anyways, I don’t think I’m overly attractive either, but people generally only want what’s on the surface, and my ‘surface’ is not meant to impress…

So how the hell do I wade through the rubbage to find the pool of compatible companions? Dating sucks… Being friends sucks… Putting on a front sucks… Sometimes I don’t see the meaning in being cordial with certain people because they make it so very apparent that they could really care less…

And being stuck in this fuckin’ box doesn’t help either. And it’s not just about being on the truck. It’s about being stuck in this box of a life I’ve managed to find myself in. I have tunnel vision when it comes to focusing where I want to go next. No one wants to come along for that crazy ride right? I sure as hell wouldn’t want to be by my side right now…

I’m perfectly content being just the way I am right now. I’ve got no one to answer to and very few people text me any more so I don’t have to stress about what someone will think if I don’t text back right away. And call me? Hah! Right… I’ve felt more love and attention from the leasing agent at the apartment complex than anyone else in the past many years of my life…

For people who have been single for a great majority of their life, none of this is new. The single life is great for some things, and crappy for others… I’m just really tired of living my life just for myself. Hell, even if it’s a relationship of predetermined length I’d be happy…( well, actually that might suck at the end…)

This blog went nowhere… Go figure… Whatever weird muscle ailments animals get when they are caged for too long is probably what I’m getting now… Getting fat is one of those ailments… I get out of the truck lately and the first ten steps are walking like I have a stick up my ass. I’m done now…

Policrap…

No one cares about politics or what someone else’s opinion is… Got it… Just by the initial reading of my blog post for the day, I imagine this wont get much attention. I’ll give it a shot anyways…

This isn’t about what’s right or wrong right now. It’s about ignorance of the facts. I mean that in the truest sense of the phrase. I was listening to NPR today and got really irritated when I realized that the political topic at hand was actually not even being discussed. Something about Obamacare and government shut down, blah blah fuckin’ blah…

The entire show simply highlighted opinions that either lawmakers or constituents had about this rubbish. Well, what does the actual text say in these bills? What is the actual ‘stuff’ that is being debated? Does anyone actually know? Here’s a simpler way of thinking about it…

A budget. I was reading through some websites for the homely little town of Port Orchard, WA a while back. A budget was laid out with general distribution of funds going to different departments. Like police, fire, public works, admin, etc etc… This ‘budget’ that was being voted on gave nothing more down the line. So, you just give a million to the police department and assume its being used wisely? Or you justify your voting position based on the pieces of the budget that you want to highlight?

My question has always been; How is the money actually being spent… Down to the cent? Same as school budgets, or even military… A certain amount is allocated to a department yet at some level down the line, accountability gets loose… I know it would be a logistical nightmare to vote on such a thing and nit pick down to the loose change, but to relate this idea to what’s being debated all over radio and TV… It’s like they are creating a budget not only without accounting for every dollar, they are creating something without even being able to communicate whatever the hell it is they are arguing about…

Assuming any reader’s eyes would be glazed over by this point if they are reading at all, I think I just proved my point.

There are entire institutions and legacies built around the idea of politics. It’s big money and if it was simplified as it should be, a LOT of people would be out of a job. There is more at stake to win a political argument rather than deal with the actual issue at hand. All sides of the argument are getting ridiculous and I think supporters of any side don’t even know what the hell they are supporting in the first place.

Lot lizards…

This truck driving gig is winding down… Finally. Now that a bit of money has been made, I can begin my settling down process in California. It’s a strange sub-culture of America though, and I haven’t even scratched the surface of it. I’ve been on the road for a few months with quite honestly the crappiest organization I could ever imagine. I’m on lock down because of this stupid on-board computer that pretty much dictates every bit of everything that I do on the road. I could go on and on about my personal experience with the truck and this company, but I wanted to write a little bit on the subset of society that I have been getting accustomed to while out on the road.

Of course, much of what I’ve seen has been utterly disgusting. Piss bottles all over the truck stops, jacking off in the public restrooms, lot lizards leaping from truck to truck, obnoxiously fat people barely able to walk across the parking lot, copious amounts of soda pop and Cheetos being taken out by the fistful from the convenience stores, the stink… Blech…

Aside from that, it is an interesting culture out here. I can’t really sum it all up simply from being out here for a few months. Here’s what I know… Being cooped up in a truck for weeks on end will get to you. I mean, imagine living and working in a walk-in closet. Only able to leave when you have to shower, fuel up, eat or unhook a trailer. You must sleep in your closet, and stay awake for at least ten straight hours while looking out the door. All this being said, I have no real analysis of this culture. It would be based on immature experience fueled by aggravation of the initial impression I’ve gotten..l so I’ll just puke out a few words of experience this far…

For some people, it’s truly a way of life. I can’t understand the real appeal. At first I thought it would be cool to ‘get paid to travel the country’ but all I can really do is watch it pass by from the interstate. I can’t exactly pull a seventy five foot long and eighty thousand pound tractor trailer into the popular tourist destinations… The truck stops leave much to be desired. Fast food or pre packaged donuts. Can’t even get the name brand shit. Some of the food is alright though… I stopped into a pilot somewhere in Wyoming or Colorado and had quite possibly the best slice of pepperoni pizza ever! Really, I did. I’ve become a zombie however, when I stand in front of the drink cooler. Soda, RedBull or juice? Juice sounds nice and all, but being on the road three hours from the nearest rest stop isn’t the time or place for your body to adjust to a new form of dietary intake… I’ll stick with the bad stuff until I’m off this thing… You ever try to work out in your closet? It sucks…

One peculiar thing I notice lately is the unspoken attention given to parking your truck. It’s no secret that backing a truck up with a trailer is something that takes a lot of practice to get right. It can be really frustrating especially when you drive into a truck stop or consignee late at night and all you want to do is pass out, but you gotta fight with limited space, awkward trailer swing and a dozen eyes peering out from behind their cab curtains…

Some of the best times to drive is at night… If you can stay awake. So some people drive until midnight or so to get some easy road conditions before giving in to the night… Problem is by the time you get to the truck stop there is no parking. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Except for the one spot in which the only way you can get into is to perform a blind side back. (Basically backing up to the passenger side and by the time the trailer swings you have zero visibility as to where you are. ) So I’ve noticed some weird things people do…

Some people pull straight into a spot. Uh… They then realize they have to wait until the late morning before backing out… You’ll see some park on the on ramps… Pretty much illegal but it’s an easy way to not have to back up… As I sit here tonight (after backing up quite nicely I’ll admit), I notice trucks pulling in, set up for a back into a spot, try four or five times, then either totally find a new spot, or leave completely and head down the road. A lot of these trucking companies push us to get out and look (goal is their clever little anagram)… But some of these nitwits have way too much pride to get out and check their situation… Or maybe they’re simply too lazy… Either way, it’s funny that a simple thing like backing up can actually dictate the overall schedule for many of these people… As I’m writing this some asshole got on the CB and started talking shit about a new guy taking too long to back up… I saw the guy who was talking shit and picked up the CB to tell him to shut his hole but something made me wait… Sure enough he finally got his chance to park aaaand ba-dow… Not only does it take him twenty pull-ups to park, he swipes the mirror off another truck… I figure I’ll put the CB mike down and let his pride do the walk of shame in front of everyone else watching this cocksqueeze cower with his tail between his legs…

Oh, the lot lizards… Naaa-sssty… I keep my doors locked at night because they are known for jumping into trucks and crawling into bed with people… Or stealing shit out of trucks… And for the record… No, I’ve never… No lot lizards… Nothing ever in my truck at all… I’d be embarrassed to invite anyone in my truck anyways… I’m not dirty by any means but I wonder what smell I’ve gotten used to that might make someone die when they hop in… Mixed with the fact that when I got my truck it had 400,000 miles of sweaty nasty ball pheromones permeating through every ass laden cushion… I used a whole can of upholstery shampoo and two cans of febreeze so far… Did I mention I can’t wait to be done with this shit?

Cat eating festival…

Today has been a plethora of mind-fucks for me… Browsing through Facebook someone mentioned it being Sunday… I honestly seriously thought it was Saturday and my brain started to flush because I thought I was going crazy. Weirdest feeling I’ve had in a while… Then, I didn’t realize that I picked out the red white and blue peanut M & M’s so when I was glancing in the bag all I saw was white balls of… What the hell? Another moment of truly second guessing myself. I show up to drop my last load in Kansas and my dispatcher says ‘did you pick up that other load in New Mexico?’…. Uhh, are you kidding me? I’m in Kansas already. I didn’t get instructions to pick anything up in New Mexico… Once again, I stop and look around… Am I being punked? I glance at my legs just to be sure I put pants on this morning….

To top it all off, I browse the news headlines and see this…

Did the associated press actually highlight this article with this picture? How can a normally aspirated person not laugh at this without feeling guilty because of the fact that they are eating cats?

This blog isn’t about supporting or opposing whatever it is they are doing in Peru. It’s not my business and I could honestly care less. As long as they aren’t making the cats suffer before skewering them and putting them on the BBQ then it’s all good. I’ll pass on having a taste of Mr. Mittens though…

I’m considering contemplating what it must be like to be one of those guys in the background of that picture… And what the hell is going on in the mind of that poor cat?