Day 365…

Won’t bore anybody with one of those long ‘wrap-up’ blogs. I did it… although I missed a handful of days throughout the year, I wrote for an entire year straight. I feel pretty darn good about the whole thing really. I’ve ended up right about where I thought I would in life and the fun is just about to get started.

I am more than appreciative of all the people who have read my blog. I know it’s not the ‘coolest’ thing to read but I tried to be as candid and open about my feelings on things as I could. I wish I could have been more to everybody but I say one last time, this blog was really about me, not you… It was to fall in love with the reader. I did. Everyday, the highlight of looking at my phone was to see WordPress notifications of comments or ‘likes’. Truly.

For the assholes that liked to read it then judge me for it, I hope you get what’s coming to you.

So here here to the year of ’13. May we all find a better way to live and love thine neighbor… and that we all get laid a little more than last year…



I’ve been an advocate for anti-facebook lifestyles. There’s a part of me that hates the idea of sitting around doing nothing except vicariously living through a social media medium such as Facebook. I’ve tried to get rid of it a few times but to no avail, it finds it’s way back to me. It gets old. Sure, I ‘like’ things and share things… it’s usually when I get really bored. Lately it’s been a bit more often. I’m not very mentally stimulated at work and all I really want to do is sleep.

Aside from my opinions of what the ‘information age’ and the advent of text messaging has done to people, I think of another cool aspect of it.

I see a lot of people posting pictures of their babies and kids and all that family crap that I (un?)fortunately don’t have to deal with at this point in my life. How cool would it be though, to be one of these kids all grown up and be able to see an entire timeline of your life. I can only go back to when Facebook started to see my timeline but in twenty some years, people will be able to have an entirely new way of revisiting childhood memories.

As I was thinking about this, I tried to think back as far as I could into my past. I remember little things here and there. Like the… ehh, nevermind what I remember. Seems to me that although social media is a joke for the most part, it could actually have some long term effects on relationships and families in a good way. Those that have been born into it can use it to chronologically document their existence without it feeling like an intrusion as it does to people like me.

For those of us not born into Facebook, imagine if you were able to see your childhood as a Facebook timeline. Some long distant aunt that you never quite knew would be nothing more than a ‘mutual friend’ away from reconnecting with or remembering the memories. Videos of your first steps could be replayed. All those embarrassing photos and stories would have a new meaning since they not only live in the memories but in a real life database of your life.

This last year of blogging has been interesting, if anything only for me. I can click back to a post in February or January… or even the first post and I can piece together who I am now compared to who I thought I would be from a year ago. If only I could go back 25 or 30 years to read in black and white what was on my mind…

More and more…

The more and more I get out and do things I don’t really want to do… The more I realize that this world we live in is in need of some real change. Our own individual worlds. We have become conditioned to think that we have to live life to the standards of media and culture and the Kardashians… The earth we live on is slowly becoming consumed by the waste we produce for an experience less than everything it should be. Greed, envy, jealousy, hatred, guilt, power, dominance… Too many emotions to really list have overshadowed something that we are supposed to be doing here. More intelligent life forms elsewhere in the galaxy probably aren’t too motivated to make a trip here for the same reason that no one really wants to hang out at a Denny’s for their birthday. Sometimes you have to though…


We’ve all had those moments where we think back and wish we would have done something a little bit different right? The things I really wish I could have done differently have to do with friendships and relationships. Career stuff is, meh… I’m content with my choices in that arena, but when it comes to people in my past I wish  I would have been able to grasp onto things that I was ignorant to.

I think these things because I’m single… and unaware that I’m looking for something to fill a void in my life. Then I realize that something better must be coming along that will make me realize why everything in the past didn’t work the way I wanted it to.

Isn’t that some sort of Facebook or Pinterest motivational thing?


I’m usually a bit cryptic when it comes to things I write about here. Not that too many people care (expect for people wanting to know what’s going on in my life). This one is no different.

I had an AHA! moment today. A few times. I’ve been struggling to figure out what to do with myself and I go to random places in my mind to figure it out. After getting rid of the restaurant I’ve been real scattered as to what I want to do with myself. Truck driving, flight school, tree climbing, coffee making… Nothing that has made me truly happy. There’s something bigger and better to be taken. I’m not meant to be working for someone else. It’s nice and all to not have to worry about ‘locking the door’ at night, but sometimes it’s a decent trade off for a chance at something a little bit better.

I’m about to wrap up this year in blogging and I’m a little disappointed in myself that I couldn’t end it on a really exciting note. I guess the true believers will see what happens someday…

Life learned on YouTube…

Has anyone else realized that you can learn just about anything from YouTube now? Fly a plane, quilt a blanket, repair a three phase motor, cook an amazing chicken dinner, sail a boat… It’s almost overwhelming to think that so much knowledge is shared. How could one person not take advantage of it all? Why don’t we?

Seems to me that a trend in our western (and some eastern) culture is to get accredited education. It makes sense for some professional occupations of course, and for the most part it serves it’s purpose. When it comes down to it, so many things that are learned on the rote level of upper level classes can be simplified on a medium such as YouTube. Of course it doesn’t make up for commonsense or perseverance attributes that come with a more traditional education.

I noticed this when I’ve been spending some time learning about some new web development technologies. All these crazy nerds like to overcomplicate the explanation of things. Kind of like lawyers when they talk about law things. Ask a ‘school trained’ developer how to change the background picture of a website and though there are a lot of ways you can do it, you’ll probably get the runaround on a simple solution. Why would they spend all those years in school to expose that this task could be nothing more than adding a line of code. All you have to do now it type something in google and viola! No need to search through libraries of textbooks just to find answers that should be simple enough to understand.

The problem I see here is that there is less and less practical value in getting a formal education in a lot of disciplines. Or should I say, there seems to be less value in the education as it is taught nowadays. The validity is of course another argument of formal vs. social information gathering.  I try to look at ‘Wiki’ information objectively for obvious reasons, but for the most part, what is being shared can be deciphered to have some practical validity. Now, I shall go watch a YouTube video on how to build a spaceship to get to the moon.

Merry kissmyass…

I really do like the holidays. Really. But every year that I spend the way I do, the more I appreciate the fact that Christmas should be less about things and more about the finer things in life. Seems that everyone always has somewhere to go or something to do. Even when they go to do the things they are rushing to go do, people seem to be in a hurry to be somewhere else. You go to work, wanting to go home… You are at home, living around the schedule to go back to work. Haircuts, oil changes shopping, doctor visits, lunch meetings… Need I go on?

Christmas in Southern California is awesome! It’s almost eighty degrees out and there’s still plenty to keep a perpetually single guy occupied. Thing is, being in a place like this makes me want to spend Christmas in a small town with people that truly appreciate the holidays for their own special reason.

It doesn’t have to be for religious meanings nor does it have to be for anti-religious purposes. The holiday season should be a time to come together as families, friends and communities to let bygones be bygones… Not simply a temporary hold on the conflicts we live with throughout the year. It most definitely shouldn’t be about the commercialism of it.

I’m enjoying a Christmas looking out for myself once again. I’m happy… no matter how much guilt is laid on me by people who think I shouldn’t live this way. Off to bed for now for an early morning at work…

Bitches love money…

One of my favorite kinds of stories to hear is how really rich people dress ‘down’ to go out to a place where they try to fit in like regular folk. No one knows who you are and no one knows your story. You see people for what they really are and you hope they see you for the person you really are.

Brings a lot of things into perspective really. Especially when you see those same people do a complete 180 when they know that they are in the presence of someone with a lot of money or power.

I don’t need to be incognito to realize this. The people that treat you like shit because you have ‘nothing to offer’ aren’t really worth anything. Sometimes it’s nice to be in the situation I’m in. Makes me want to work that much harder for something… and not share it with the people who want it all without having to do any of the work…

Don’t be a douche…

Karma will inevitably come back to you. I’m living proof of that. Though I’ve been living for myself in a little different manner lately, I’ve had my fair share of nefarious activities in the past that have come back to haunt me in more ways than one.

I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of douche-bags I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with in my life. With the shit I’ve put up with and experiences I’ve had, I can take quite an objective look at things now. Especially when it comes to watching some of these idiots from my own gender act the way they do in front of women. I’d love to make an example out of one of my recent experiences with one of the douche-clan members but I’ll afford karma a bit more time to do her thing.

There’s a little thing called ‘bird dogging’ that a lot of these young’ns don’t understand. It’s not just about women either. It can be from many avenues of life. Salesmen, Drivers, Friends, Family, Military, Nature… Someone will almost always be available to come in and take advantage of your situation when you let your guard down. It’s also part of the Bro Code. Not the ‘How I met Your Mother’ version, but the real, no shit, die for your brother kind of version.

Now this concept of Bird Dogging can apply to either sex and really any individual that has something someone else wants and has started working for. You can’t win against a Bird Dogger. All you can really do is cock your head to the side like a confused puppy, drop the mic, turn around and start over again. If you try to call someone out as they are bird dogging, they’re already prepared with a rebuttal that’ll make you look like an idiot. “What are you talkin’ about man? I’m just sittin’ here chillin’…” You look like the neurotic one at that point.

Ever worked in sales? Same thing. I worked with a bonified snake quite a few years ago selling cell phones. It’s a lucrative business and commissions were outrageous. We could make ten grand a month if we were good enough. This snake used to literally wait until I turned around for a second then he would find a way to talk to potential buyers. He’d posture himself where the other salespeople would look like the uninformed newbies and the customer would end up buying from him. He’d take the sale of course. His karma came way later but what made it worse is that the customers he sold to, he lied to. So most of the time when he was snaking a sale, one of his prior customers would come in wanting answers. Being in a sales AND customer service position, the rest of us were left handling his shit work without getting paid more than a base salary (beans compared to the commissions).

More importantly, the game of courting a person of interest is where Bird Dogging really shines. You know, the time you have a few friends over and you invite someone you’re interested in. You literally do something so simple as using the restroom and your ‘buddies’ have already started taking their positions with the target. They carefully watch your every move and as soon as you may be at risk of being put in the dreaded friend zone, they kick up the charm and divert any chance of affection away from you and on to something else.

Now, for a handful of little pukes that I’ve dealt with in the past, they think it’s all about getting some ass, or not. It’s really not, in my book at least. Sometimes mature people understand that things need to be cultivated and nourished. Not for the potential of plowing that specific field per say, but to refine a reputation and character that other people will take notice to. It’s almost like a cartoon skit from the eighties. You get a lot of people out there that want to pick up where they think others should leave off.

I see this in business as well. I was never really at risk of someone actually ‘taking’ my business from me, but the attitude was there. People think they are entitled to things when they really have no concept of what it takes to really build something. I worked my skin to the bones building my restaurant. (read past blogs to understand what kind of undertaking that was). A year or so after it was open I had a little twit working for me. She worked maybe ten hours a week. I fired her because I found her journal underneath the cash register. Realizing that she left in a spot where she should have been working, I took the liberty to read what was being written. (If it was in the back with personal  items, it’d be a different story). Of all the shit she was talking about me in there, she wrote about how the business wouldn’t survive without her and that she’d take over one day and it would be hers…. People really think this way! She was a part time kid and was obviously blind to the realization that a business just isn’t ‘there’ one day. Sadly, the hard work and effort that people think they put in, isn’t really anything to be proud of. Imagine giving full control of a company to a snot nosed twerp that always says “I can run this place a million times better than these people can…”  Right…

This is an important concept about consideration that people should pay a little more attention to. People will stand by ready to jump on the gravy train as soon as it starts rolling. They’ll then be able to jump off whenever they please with no liability for their actions. It’s no wonder that people with money don’t want to share what they have. There’s a odd mention of this in the military. “How can we trust our brothers to our left and our right with our life, but we couldn’t trust them a second with our wife?…”

Don’t be a bird dogger.

The daily deuce…

Shit happens. It’s just a way of life really. You win some, you lose some, you get to experience the pleasure of the brighter side until reality steps in and rips you back by the skin of your neck and say ‘where do you think you’re going?’

I’m not a gamer by any means. I barely like to play monopoly anymore. I was doing some random web surfing today and came across a trailer for some new-fangled video game on the new X-Box thing. Cool graphics, interesting story line… Then I got to the part where it explains how to do this and that to earn money to buy a bigger ship and weapons to overcome the enemy… Blah blah blah… I lost interest right there. It feels a little too much like real life.

I guess they’re called role playing games. Strategies of gathering resources and skills and spending them at the opportune times to increase your level of status in the game. Kinda like Sim City right? I was never good at it because in my opinion, some nerds that write these games find ways where there is really only specific ways to win. Your conditions have to be spot on, otherwise some logical statement within the game finds a way to rip you down to mere nothing and you have to start over. Once you play a game over and over, you can start to see the basic ‘if-then’ theories behind this form of entertainment.

Its a little like being an adult. In real life. We live our days with the idea that we are free to roam amongst others and are in total control of our destiny.

We’re not. We can’t escape it. Even if we travel to foreign lands, we will find ourself in the grips of those who have control over us. Like the cheeto-eatin mofos that play online games and hide in a corner and shoot you every time you come back to life. You can’t win unless you do that itsy-bitsy little thing that gets you out of the situation.

So my question is ‘why not?’ Why not live a life expecting at some point there will be some Jabba the Hut anomaly that inevitably will get in your way? We rise, we fall… We love each other and we hurt each other. It’s a game that doesn’t allow everyone to win all the time but there’s nothing wrong with accepting the fact that someone else has more leverage than you. You can drop your weapons, your resources, your dreams and you can succumb to the undeserved power of others. Not because you are weak but because you know that as you rise up from nothing, you will come out that much stronger.