A Veteran’s Fuck You

I was abruptly reminded today of what being a Veteran really is. Depression, Pride, Anguish, Resentment, Confusion…

Google all the heartwarming and tear-jerking stories you want… it doesn’t really get rid of what lives inside us once we’ve experienced it.

No matter what kind of story you can tell about your time in, every vet holds their experiences near and dear to their heart. My experience was less of fighting the enemy, and more of how war really changes the human spirit. On both sides.

However stupid war is… and trust us Vets, war is pretty fuckin stupid, there is something to be said about someone who will place their life on the line for something they believe in. To see the barely 17 year old who never has to worry about getting in trouble for not shaving, to the 98 year old who can be brought to his knees at the sound of taps is not to be taken lightly. Everything in between holds just as much value.

Living in Southern California isn’t really the place you go to feel patriotic. Sure, you see some of those ‘support the troops’ things, but it’s usually part of someone’s marketing plan. It’s even part of the personal ‘marketing’ for some. (That last line was motivated by seeing a shit-bag specialist show up in uniform on a Sunday to a venue for dining and drinking.)

I don’t really care if people know I’m a veteran, or what my experiences have given me. No one really cares except for my brothers and sisters who stood toe-to-line with me. I will never ask for special treatment because of what I chose to do. I will never take advantage of a fellow veteran, and I will never disrespect what a veteran works so hard to attain.

This is rambling, I know. maybe someone, somewhere will read it and feed the knowledge that it will never be easy to fit back in to reality when nothing ever seems to be the way it was before. No matter how many years have passed, it can all be brought back in a flash when one, little, thing brings you back down.



I’ve become quite a bit more comfortable giving people the ‘are you fucking serious?’ look. Some people are a little too ignorant to even notice I do it, but I think some get the point. Albeit they take a little too much offense to it.

This school I’m in right now was a total waste of my time. If you read my blog, you’ve heard me say it before. Some of the things people say on these online discussions is quite comical. It’s more os comical because I understand fully that no one really cares about them. It’s a technicality of having to complete the class. I’ll still participate as much as I can while matching the level of interest of others as much as I can.

God damnit, is there elephants living above me? Fat asses that can only walk on their heels? making me lose my limited train of thought tonight.

Anyways, something actually got me kinda heated while reading one of the posts from someone. It was suggested that young people out of high school should go through basic training of sorts and earn a free college education for it. Are you fucking kidding me? Now, I know this is simply a discussion in a basic class at a very limited credibility school, but it brought to light the attitude of a lot of people out there who expect a handout for the minimal amount of work possible. I do believe that the discipline of any military experience helps in monumental ways, but to say that simple basic training is all one needs is asinine.

Running from mortars was easier than the feeling of having to sit through the playing of taps countless times. Arriving home only to realize that the country we stood up for treats the military like scum sometimes outweighs the sleepless nights missing your loved ones back home. Or wishing you had a reason to go home. Watching grown, hardened men cry is something I never thought would bring me to my knees. The pain and suffering of even our enemies was sometimes unbearable. War is the dumbest fuckin’ thing on earth, but we had a role to fill and we had to stand proud in the face of enemies as well as every lazy ass piece of shit that expects everything to be handed to them.

I am not big on trying to boast about my time in the military or what I did or didn’t do. Seems that everyone has a ‘cousin’ or ‘friend’ or ‘brother’ in the service anyways. Some people have cooler stories than others, and some just went along for the ride. Kudos to either for stickin’ it out. Regardless of how dumb war is, veterans have stood up for the supposed greater good of our people. right or wrong, the people that rely on the freedoms that a veteran has afforded them, owe us something more valuable than anything else… to shut their damn mouths when they think they deserve something special just because they are an ‘American.’ You are an American because of that old fart that all the kids make fun of for wearing that funny looking hat with all the pins in it. You are an American because of the drunken old sailor who sits and drinks endlessly at the bar because everyone in his whole world has either died or betrayed him. You are an American because people worked a hell of a lot harder fifty years ago than these twits growing up nowadays realize. You are an American because of the nerdy looking kid that can’t polish a boot right or tie his own tie, yet decides to sign his life away dying for these sorry ass motherfuckers wanting a free ride from the government… Yet he can’t even go to the bar and share a drink with the World War Two Vet who silently watches this country turn into a shit hole. Right or wrong, he stood up for himself, his family and for everyone unable to physically contribute to the cause. He stood up for the people a hundred years from now to look back on and realize that what we have isn’t because of some fat-ass welfare receiving baby-making ‘American’ who sucks every bit of entitlement from the government. The government who is pissing all over what every veteran has sacrificed for. We can’t have a gun without crazy rules, we can’t run a business without jumping through crazy hoops. Hell, it’s more legal to beg for money on a street corner than it is to sell something that you worked your ass off to create. No wonder Veterans are so fucked up…

So I will make an effort to no longer be quiet when I hear some dimwitted comment about how ‘Veterans’ get a handout… You know what made going to war easy? Realizing that it’s a very real possibility you may not come out alive. In fact, the ones that didn’t come out alive are the lucky ones. Their families and loved ones not so much. Disagree if you will with the institution of military and it’s apparent purpose nowadays, but do not ever, ever remove any veteran from a pedestal that they absolutely deserve to stand on for your sorry ass. They’ll remove themselves because they realize that they are mere mortal beings that not only have what it takes to give their life for something greater, they also know how to be humble about what they did and the strength it takes to stand in the face of other’s who think they deserve all the glory.

Rant done for the night…

Veteran for real…

I was sitting on my lunch break today flipping through some Facebook posts on my phone. Weird how life has turned into that instead of being able to have a group of friends to go hang with in actual real life. Anyways, I caught myself in a weird movie-like situation where everyone around me seemed to stand out in a way that I haven’t experienced in quite a while. I was sitting in the the food court of a pretty ritzy mall where there’s either people with a lot of actual money, or people who put on a facade of having a lot of money. Young, old, in between… Doesn’t matter. I then saw a guy in a Navy uniform walk through. Why he made it to Fashion Island in his uniform I can only assume, but it reminded me of my experience in the Atlanta Airport as I was fresh out of basic training. Everyone in the airport stood up and clapped when a group of returning soldiers walked through the atrium. As I saw this guy in uniform walk in the mall today, I might have been able to pick out two people total who even gave him a second look. No one stood up, no one went out of their way to thank him, quite honestly, except for a few older folks there today, no one really cared that he was there.

Right as I saw this, I came across a picture on someone’s post about one guy in a wheelchair standing up when the colors passed in a parade. Everyone around him in the picture was still sitting. It gave me a bit of the chills. I’m becoming more and more aware of the un-need of war and military might, but unfortunately we are in a state of affairs in humanity where it’s not going away anytime soon. That being said, every person who has stood up and given their life to this country so we can enjoy what we have should be treated with absolute respect and admiration (except of course, for you naysayers, the ones who do wrong).

Right or wrong for any of the reasons we have to go to war, truth of the matter is there is a LOT of people out there who have offered their life so we can live in a much safer world. And just because someone has joined the military doesn’t make them a war monger.

I have my own views on being a veteran. I am fortunate to not have to deal with physical or emotional ailments from experiencing the combat environment. Many aren’t so lucky. Even the ones who can’t quite claim this new-fangled PTSD diagnosis, have some pretty dark demons that sneak up on them. Whether you are deployed to combat as a cook or a front line infantry-man, you have a right to be proud of what you sacrificed. Coming home should never give you the impression that you fought for nothing. I will never ever put it to argument against someone that I’m a veteran but so many times I’ve asked myself, ‘Is this what I offered to die for?’ It’s no wonder so many veterans are in the state of affairs they are in. I don’t blame em’.

The appreciation given on veterans day is great. It really is. As a veteran I can say though, this bumper-sticker mentality from a lot of isn’t fooling me. I don’t want any recognition or special treatment and that isn’t the idea of what I’m trying to say. What I’m trying to say is people need to be personally accountable for everything that happens around us, especially those who haven’t done a damn thing to give back to their community or country or even mankind in general. Make a veteran proud of what they fought for. Make a veteran proud of what they missed while sent away to foreign lands too many times. Make a veteran never ever question if what they did was the right thing.

I wish I could write about being a veteran but I almost feel inadequate realizing that the click-and-share society has already beat me to the warm and fuzzy things that can be said about the real heroes around us.

Road closed…

So I never sustained much injury from being deployed aside from my muscles being separated from my ribcage after being kicked full force. There are plenty of service members who had to put up with some real shit. Bullet wounds, IED shrapnel, etc etc… We’ve all put our time in, and the modern soldier did it voluntarily. Quite a few of the heroes from prior wars had no choice but to go fight. This blog isn’t to convince anyone about the balls it takes to be a member of the military. If you don’t already appreciate the people who will give their lives for you and future generations, then fuck you.

This is about something that only a veteran in the flesh can relate to. I was fortunate to come back in one piece, twice, and I’ve never had much difficulty adjusting back to society except for this one little thing that pisses me off.

It really doesn’t even matter what military you fight in, or what country you are from, the concept of pride is pretty important in my opinion.

On my way to California, I stopped along a mountain route to kill some time and quite honestly to do what the hell I want to do for a change. I figured I’d head into the hills, find a roadside picnic area and maybe even wrap the hammock around a few trees and enjoy the lack of cell phone service.

Until I got to the ‘road closed’ sign into the national forest.

Now I’m a pretty understanding guy when it comes to why things are the way they are but this is absolute bullshit. What I’m about to say is something that applies to other veterans who are in much worse conditions than me… Why the fuck should any citizen of their country fight for everything they hold dear to their hearts only to come home to being blocked out of one of the things that make their country what it is.

So why is this so important? More important than the fact that VA benefits are at risk of not being paid? Natural resources and places that have nothing to do with anything this government has done for us is closed off. Sure I could have gone around but the little sign talking about prosecution blah blah blah reminds me that I should be a bit smart about it.

Sure, we can come back when the budget is fixed and all but why the hell does that make any sense. Memorials honoring people who gave their life fighting for this place are closed because the government would rather spend money to keep people out just to prove a point that they are the ones in control, and they are the reason we have what we do.

I will abide by the rules as long as it’s the reasonable thing to do but I will further vow to never ever ever in my life show respect to a politician who hasn’t at least done their time in the service and voted in favor of every last bit of our supposedly inalienable rights that we should have.

Excess taxation is bad enough, nanny-state politics is quite annoying and unjust, over-regulation is counterproductive to what this country needs to become but not being allowed to see a natural resource because a bunch of god damned monkeys want to thump their chests and declare their alliance to a particular sect of society known as a political party is enough to push someone over the limit.

Even if this blog made it further than my circle of readers (and shit talkers), it’s not formatted for the masses to be ok with. This is really old news coming from a veteran. Every last one of us knows what it’s like to come back from a foreign land to be treated like dirt by too many people. To consider myself a protector of these asinine road block signs makes me sad for the state of affairs we are in.

And to top this all off, some punk ass kid is standing in front of my car at the rest stop, smoking a cigarette holding a sign asking for money.

Thank a veteran by not being a lazy ass piece of shit and maybe try to contribute something to society. If I didn’t have a raging headache right now I’d try to write a little more reasonably… I’m done for now…


Self Centered Twits…

This might seem like old news for some people but as I was thinking of something to write about today, this got my blood flowing… I put my two cents in but below I pasted text from a Facebook post along with a link. I can think of quite a few entitled twits that I’ve run into in my life that should take heed to this kind of message. I don’t try to flaunt any sort of time spent in the military or deployments. I did in fact volunteer and I don’t expect special treatment from anybody but there are some things that are hard to turn the other cheek to. Here’s a shining example… Just since its fresh in my memory…

During the last few weeks of flight school I took a ride with some of the kids that went to the school. Still wet behind the ears is an understatement. This particular individual I rode with had a nearly brand new car that was bought for him. He doesn’t work, it’s paid off and he got his flight school paid for. Good for him right? I made a joke while I was in the car about how nice it must be to have someone buy you a brand new car. There was a slight hesitation before the rebuttal from the back seat passenger was ‘wait a second, you don’t have to pay anything for flight school and you get paid to go to school…’ (With the GI bill as some may know pays for school and you get a housing allowance plus any financial aid such as Pell grants etc…)… I do feel fortunate to have those benefits but I wanted to snap when I heard that. Undeserving little twits have no idea what It took to get the benefits that I rightfully earned.

You sniveling self entitled little shitheads have absolutely ZERO room to talk when you haven’t done shit with your life. It’s not even about military service or not. The statement that was made to me in that car sums up the attitude that so many of these ‘kids’ have towards not only Veterans but their elders, and really, other people in general. I’ve heard enough in the past years through the grapevine, to my face or in passing to have a little fire ignite every once in a while. I bit my tongue more often than not because I realize that these kids are soft. they don’t understand life yet. It’s part of growing up. Some people simply grow up before others. What amazes me is the sheer ignorance that not only young people display but the adults that influence them. I say again, I never expect anyone to treat me any different because of anything I’ve done in my past but it’s quite frustrating to see what’s happening here… I wish I could be more blunt…

The underlying problem I see in all of this is the self-centeredness epidemic. Whether we are Americans, Muslims, White, Black, Asian, spoiled kids, Veterans… whatever… We are all humans stuck on this same earth. When we stop caring for and respecting others shit falls apart. I digress… I have to get back on the road to try to live a life that has not been handed to me…

Please read below…

Written by an old Soldier of mine.

Who is the asshole? Is it the Iraq/Afghan combat veteran who is guaranteed to speak from the heart without empathy? Or is it the civilian that expects the utmost cordiality from a trained and seasoned gunfighter? Is it realistic to expect someone whose sole purpose has been death and destruction for 4-10 years to act and speak in the most civilized manner? Should you expect him to display sympathy for what you consider to be sad or unfortunate? Though military service is 100% volunteer you should take a few things into consideration. When you were in college doing keg stands and joining your respective Frats, he was watching his friends die, and get their legs blown off. When you were upset about someone not texting you promptly, he was happy to get a package in the mail with socks, toothpaste, and cigarettes. When you were attending weddings and graduation ceremonies, he was going to funerals and visiting his friends memorials. When you were at the mall shopping for things you didn’t really need, he was in the PX buying gear he needed to survive the next week of his life. While you were studying in an air conditioned room, he was patrolling in 130 degree heat wearing 70 lbs of gear. The years vary for us all. We are what time and circumstance make us. If you are a civilian, you are entitled to think your vet buddy is an asshole for being so blunt, critical, and “mean.” Just know that vet may think you are spoiled, weak and jaded. The friend you grew up and went to school with is not the same person you knew. While you have observed all the conflicts around the world from your couch and bar room stools, that vet has the dirt from those countries still in the treads of his boots. He truly may not care what you think of him as your opinions may take 2nd and 3rd priority to those of his brothers that he fought and bled with him from age 18 on. Just some food for thought.

– Mustang