Don’t be a douche…

Karma will inevitably come back to you. I’m living proof of that. Though I’ve been living for myself in a little different manner lately, I’ve had my fair share of nefarious activities in the past that have come back to haunt me in more ways than one.

I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of douche-bags I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with in my life. With the shit I’ve put up with and experiences I’ve had, I can take quite an objective look at things now. Especially when it comes to watching some of these idiots from my own gender act the way they do in front of women. I’d love to make an example out of one of my recent experiences with one of the douche-clan members but I’ll afford karma a bit more time to do her thing.

There’s a little thing called ‘bird dogging’ that a lot of these young’ns don’t understand. It’s not just about women either. It can be from many avenues of life. Salesmen, Drivers, Friends, Family, Military, Nature… Someone will almost always be available to come in and take advantage of your situation when you let your guard down. It’s also part of the Bro Code. Not the ‘How I met Your Mother’ version, but the real, no shit, die for your brother kind of version.

Now this concept of Bird Dogging can apply to either sex and really any individual that has something someone else wants and has started working for. You can’t win against a Bird Dogger. All you can really do is cock your head to the side like a confused puppy, drop the mic, turn around and start over again. If you try to call someone out as they are bird dogging, they’re already prepared with a rebuttal that’ll make you look like an idiot. “What are you talkin’ about man? I’m just sittin’ here chillin’…” You look like the neurotic one at that point.

Ever worked in sales? Same thing. I worked with a bonified snake quite a few years ago selling cell phones. It’s a lucrative business and commissions were outrageous. We could make ten grand a month if we were good enough. This snake used to literally wait until I turned around for a second then he would find a way to talk to potential buyers. He’d posture himself where the other salespeople would look like the uninformed newbies and the customer would end up buying from him. He’d take the sale of course. His karma came way later but what made it worse is that the customers he sold to, he lied to. So most of the time when he was snaking a sale, one of his prior customers would come in wanting answers. Being in a sales AND customer service position, the rest of us were left handling his shit work without getting paid more than a base salary (beans compared to the commissions).

More importantly, the game of courting a person of interest is where Bird Dogging really shines. You know, the time you have a few friends over and you invite someone you’re interested in. You literally do something so simple as using the restroom and your ‘buddies’ have already started taking their positions with the target. They carefully watch your every move and as soon as you may be at risk of being put in the dreaded friend zone, they kick up the charm and divert any chance of affection away from you and on to something else.

Now, for a handful of little pukes that I’ve dealt with in the past, they think it’s all about getting some ass, or not. It’s really not, in my book at least. Sometimes mature people understand that things need to be cultivated and nourished. Not for the potential of plowing that specific field per say, but to refine a reputation and character that other people will take notice to. It’s almost like a cartoon skit from the eighties. You get a lot of people out there that want to pick up where they think others should leave off.

I see this in business as well. I was never really at risk of someone actually ‘taking’ my business from me, but the attitude was there. People think they are entitled to things when they really have no concept of what it takes to really build something. I worked my skin to the bones building my restaurant. (read past blogs to understand what kind of undertaking that was). A year or so after it was open I had a little twit working for me. She worked maybe ten hours a week. I fired her because I found her journal underneath the cash register. Realizing that she left in a spot where she should have been working, I took the liberty to read what was being written. (If it was in the back with personal  items, it’d be a different story). Of all the shit she was talking about me in there, she wrote about how the business wouldn’t survive without her and that she’d take over one day and it would be hers…. People really think this way! She was a part time kid and was obviously blind to the realization that a business just isn’t ‘there’ one day. Sadly, the hard work and effort that people think they put in, isn’t really anything to be proud of. Imagine giving full control of a company to a snot nosed twerp that always says “I can run this place a million times better than these people can…”  Right…

This is an important concept about consideration that people should pay a little more attention to. People will stand by ready to jump on the gravy train as soon as it starts rolling. They’ll then be able to jump off whenever they please with no liability for their actions. It’s no wonder that people with money don’t want to share what they have. There’s a odd mention of this in the military. “How can we trust our brothers to our left and our right with our life, but we couldn’t trust them a second with our wife?…”

Don’t be a bird dogger.

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