Captain fucktard…

A little less deep tonight. I’m just under two months from reaching my goal of writing about my life for an entire year. A rough estimate is close to a few hundred thousand words so far. Apparently there is no way to pull a word count from this site so I did a cut and paste with an estimate… Blah blah blah…

I’m seeing the light finally. But The light I’m seeing might also be the train coming the opposite direction in the tunnel. I like my life and what I’ve done with it. I sat next to a girl tonight… Beautiful girl. She drank a Jameson (my poison) and the company was quite pleasant. She even saved my seat for me. I can barely get friends to do that for me. Anyways, the conversation was great and the atmosphere was about as good as it gets for a dive bar. Towards the end of my visit, some queef bag and his friends come up and did the whole ‘I’m going to flirt with her while I obtrusively put my arm on the bar between you two’…. That’s cool bro. Your stories of cool house parties and, uhm, drinking, are pretty cool. She probably got pretty wet just hearing about your post high school antics. I mean, fuck man, you must have an awesome story to tell once you make her breakfast in your fifth wheel camper on use outskirts of town…

So, I closed my tab and used the john one more time. As I walked out I noticed she was looking for someone as she was being slobbered on by captain fucktard. She saw me and eyes locked… I winked and kept going. Dave 1, Naive girl 0. She was trapped and the scenario would have been really awkward if I afforded any opportunity to exchange any more non-verbal communication….

This is where I boast a bit. I feel for this guy that weaseled his way into the situation. He probably hasn’t gotten a piece of ass since… Well… Maybe the mentally challenged girl that probably lives down the street from him. I applaud his gusto to get between a hot girl like her and a passive guy like me. I’m sure one day the facial hair will start coming in beyond the few pubic looking patches on the side of his cheek… I let him ‘work his mojo’ while I conversed a bit with the retired chemistry professor on the other side of me. I remembered a small bit of the things I’ve done and realized that aside from sucker punches, I’ve got some ‘cool guy’ ammo if I ever need it. I’ll never flaunt it though because quite honestly, there are plenty other ‘cooler’ guys than me out there. It’s just a humbling thought to realize that I’m no longer the guy that needs to worry about having a complex of being unaccomplished in life.

I think a lot of us introverts have the same quality. There should never be a need to embellish stories of your life just to command attention from another person. Really, if you have to dig for stories in your life just to keep someone interested it just might be time for you to shut your mouth and go do something with yourself… And when you’ve done all you can do, come back and have a beer with me. Most of the people I know of that are my age have done some really cool things with their life so far. It’s the ones who tell stories, even the same stories, over and over again that make it very apparent that they are lacking something. I bunch them in with the douchebags of the world.

Maybe I should write about the OC douchebag soon… Either way, I’m tired tonight and that my friend, is the scattered blog for the night…


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