I don’t want to jump the gun too soon, but I think I’m finding something inside me that needed to get out for a long time. The extreme annoyance I’ve been experiencing because of a number of ignorant and inconsiderate people the last few years is finally getting to a tipping point for me. This is no revelation at any level. I know what will work for my life and my happiness. I’ve relied on other people too much and aside from the true friends that stick by, disappointment hasn’t ceased for quite some time.
I tend to go on a critical path when talking about people in my life, but it’s what is driving me to places I didn’t want to be, and motivating me to go to places I need to be. I want to be OK having high expectations for a future girlfriend or wife. To do that, I need to start taking better care of myself in all aspects. I want to expect better relationships with friends and even acquaintances. I want to wake up in the morning and feel alive again.
It’s so close I can taste it. As long as my bad luck quits for a little while, I think I’ll be able to drive on a little farther.
This fire that I am trying to express is difficult to understand. It’s a similar feeling to looking into someone’s eyes and realizing that there is a carnal urge to find each other’s soul. I want to look into the eyes of the world around me and see hope and desire for something better than the status quo. As little as I’ve actually divulged in this year worth of writing here, it has actually helped me map out the direction I need to go.
All I can continue to say to people that want to be any part of my life is… Stay Tuned…