Into the night…

My life officially restarted yesterday… For the fifty millionth time. I had quite a wonderful night seeing my daughter again after a bit too long. What I liked about it was that there was no guilt, no expectation and no weird games. She has a wonderful mom and last night confirmed about a 90% confidence that what I chose to do was the right thing. As much as I would like to continue writing about this peculiar and hidden part of my life, I’m going to save it for another time.

It’s been a weird trip already. As I was packing my car up yesterday my alternator light came on… Damnit… So I went to the parts store and had them hook up their cool little tester and he said everything seemed to be ok. A was a bit skeptical but figured it may just be a ‘dummy light’ thing because recently my tach would drop to zero randomly and the speedo started going erratic all the time. After a bit of running around town my spidey sense told me to go ahead and buy an alternator juuust in case. True to form in case of my luck, halfway through Oregon the light came on again… I took a deep breath, flipped off the instrument cluster and pulled off to a rest area. Tapped on the alternator and viola! It worked again. I would repeat this process for several rest stops down the road until finally during a horrendous downpour the stereo turned itself off, the lights dimmed and the wipers sloooowwed waaaay dowwwwn….. Made it to a rest stop as the car started sputtering out on the highway. The climax to all this was given that I didn’t really want to do an alternator replacement at a rest stop, I figured I’d just change out the pieces and parts of the alternator. Ba-Dow! Ten minutes later everything worked better than ever!

For some reason people don’t like the decisions I’ve made and the reasons I give for being the way I am. Truth is I’ve got to keep moving. And just like the first leg of this move to my new home, I have got to start relying on my own intuition and not guilt or unwelcomed influence from others. I’ve got plenty more to learn in my life and I in no way claiming to be any closer to being the man I want to be, but I believe I’m going down the right path.

And as a caveat, if you don’t have anything nice to say about me after reading this blog, or knowing who I am, then go ahead and click that cool little ‘x’ button at the top of your browser and go kick rocks.


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