Lets see if I can do this right tonight. Sitting here on the bow of my boat soaking in a wonderful sunset, feeling quite a bit troubled at the feelings I’m having. This isn’t for anyone else to really relate to in regards to a specific situation, but maybe there is some continuity with a few of us that helps us understand these trying times.
Walking back to the boat from 7-11 I glanced over as the sun hid behind the Olympic Mountains. The water turns to glass and the hum of the shipyard solidifies the memories I sometimes wish I never had here. My return here after flight school is temporary. In just a few weeks I will head south to start a new life. A truly new life. My boat should be sold tomorrow or the next day and all my personal belongings will essentially fit in my car. Albeit I still may use a trailer to haul my shit.
In the process of minimizing my life and preparing for the next step, I’ve confirmed the way I feel about things. Much of what I write about is easily taken on the negative side of things but its not a true reflection of who I am inside.
Something I feel strong about tonight is the only thing keeping me going right now. I know I have support from all sorts of people in my life, but there are few that may not understand what they’ve done for me the last few weeks. Paul, for being an absolute true friend. I mean, who really brings you beer down to a fishing dock and lowers it down like a hero? It’s a small gesture that resembles exactly what I’ve missed in a friend for so many years of my life. Shane, for being a friend that expects little yet seems to understand so much of my life. Through being busy and having a hectic life, the little time that is taken out to be a friend means more than ever. Richelle, my first kiss, and ultimately my first love. No pressure to please or impress because as always we seem to see eye to eye. Well, at least at this point in our lives. My neighbors Paul, Doug, Shane, Craig, Jon and even the snobbish power boaters that snub their nose to me because I own a sea slug of a sailboat. I couldn’t ask for a better group of people to be around, even though I was gone for two years of it. Leon and Jeannie for being absolute supporters, and for the BBQ that will be had tomorrow. Last on this list but nowhere near the least is Natalie. Who knew that spending so much time in close quarters could be so stress-free. And who on essentially short notice, drives four hours to spend time with this lame ass? The last hurrah on Turtle couldn’t have been spent any better. If only there could be more.
I’ve met a ton of people throughout my life and they each impact me in their own special way. Sarah J, Daniel, Casey S, Casey O, Chris, Duane, Clint… The list goes on and on so please no one find offense if a mention isn’t in this entry. My point of this is the realization of what’s important in our lives. It isn’t money, or possessions or looks. It’s about surrounding yourself with people that accept each other for the way they are. No criticism, no bullshit, no pompous chest thumping… Just real acceptance for who we are as human beings trying to get through this crazy life.
The last few weeks have shown me not only what I knew I never wanted, but it has also shown me what I now know I need in my life. It’s a much overused catchphrase in my repertoire but asking anyone who’s up for the ride is a moot point. A decision had to be made for myself, and as much as I’m torn with possibilities at this point, I have to stay true to course. We’ll see where this crazy life takes me and maybe, just maybe it’ll be worth it in the end.