In the last few weeks I have here I’m finding myself being able to reflect a little more clear about my life up to this point. Something that hit me tonight was the fact that I’m painfully impatient. Funny because nothing ever seems to get done in my life. As I’m sure it is the case with anyone who is in the final few weeks of any school, I can’t wait until I can sit and not have to think about anything for a while.
I can sit and watch the landscape from a lookout point or maybe a hidden parking area that no one else frequents. I found it hard to take it in tonight though all I wanted to do was take a break from my life. Being able to take some time alone and reflect can do more for your soul than we may ever admit. My trouble is that I’ve allowed myself to become immersed in this life which gives me so little happiness.
I’m starting to set my life up for something really good. I hope. I’m trying to minimize my obligations to anyone else without straining myself any more than I need to. I’m realizing who has been there for me and who has decided to go their own separate way. I’m still waiting on word from one last person that I have hope for. Either way, I know it’s no ones fault but my own for the state of affairs that my life is in. To each their own.
After the end of next week, I have got to slow down. I’ve got to take the time to relax and actually enjoy it. I wish I could express how badly I can’t wait for it…