I got to work today and found myself playing defense almost immediately. I had to call some distributors to get quotes on things that I knew the customer wasn’t going to buy. The first call was to some operator reading off a prompting card when I wanted some custom materials. Needless to say I got nowhere and decided to start saying weird shit just to entertain myself. “I’m looking for some obscured glass… In the shape of an ostrich. Do you have that?” Mid-sentence she interrupts and says “I fax you price sheet with all. O.K. sir?” …
Me: “That’s fine but I ne…”
Her: “Thank You sir, I fax now.”
Me: “You haven’t answered my que…”
Her: “Thank you for calling sir.”
Me: “You were amazing. Thank You!”
As soon as that was over, I was confronted with a fu-cup on my part. I placed a delivery on the wrong day and it was already supposed to be gone. Soo, I had to rush to get all the stuff pulled, on the truck and on the road… As I was walking out the back I came to the abrupt realization that I really have no reason to stress about this job. This job plays such a little part in my future that it would be irresponsible of me to let it get to me when I have so many other things I’d rather worry about.
One of those things is becoming a better person than I’ve been. In a quirky coincidence a song came over the radio as I was walking out to the truck. “Better Than I Used to Be” by Tim McGraw. Just about every single line in that song applies to my life right now. I’d share the song or lyrics but I’ll spare you the filler crap. No one really cares what a song means to someone else’s life. Google it though, it’s a really good song.
What I figured I’d turn this entry into tonight is how some things seem like they’re falling into place with a purpose. At certain moments in our lives we are stopped dead in our tracks and reminded of something a little bit better than the less than amazing situations we occasionally find ourselves in. Some of us are fortunate to have an easier life than others. We all fight our own battles though. I find that my experiences in how I feel never change no matter how much money I’m making or what kind of relationships I’m in.
I’m receptive to things that are a bit out of the ordinary. Like a random song coming over the radio that actually applies to a lot of other people’s lives as well. I’m not unique and this song wasn’t just for me.
It’s been so long that I’ve been ‘out in the rain’ that I don’t know how to imagine being in a much more comfortable place. Maybe I thrive on confusion and uncertainty. When I let myself go, I find that something is usually there to push me back into the right direction. Sometimes it feels a bit too late but nevertheless I’m never allowed to stray too far. If only for myself, I believe there’s a purpose to our lives. I don’t think it’s anything to do with modern day religion. It’s more than that.
I see so many opportunities to create a stable comfortable life. I could go find a job at some generally successful company, buy a house and settle into a community. I could plan out my next twenty years with assumed income, expected raises and advancements. Maybe I can plan out a retirement fund and savings goal. Then when I’m about to die I can pass on the materialistic things to my kids or grandkids. I will go down in family history as a good man who provided for his loved ones. He had great ambition but kept on solid ground as to not disrupt the social order in which he molded himself into.
I also see a life I can be happy about living. Though my eulogy may not be the easiest to swallow, I know deep down that if I live a life worth writing about, the people I leave behind will have at least an ounce more of envy for the risks I took and the joy I found in my decisions. Some of my decisions have brought me more issues than I really care to deal with but the way I see it, if I want people to take me seriously, I better have experienced what it is that I speak of.
If we don’t risk anything at all, what good is this life we’ve been given to live?