Wasting my days…

“If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American Culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially two drugs that western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”
-Bill Hicks

This was on one of those Facebook motivational/thoughts of the day pictures. At first it rubbed me the wrong way. Not because I didn’t agree with it but because I immediately thought ‘drugs’ and didn’t even think of caffeine or alcohol as a drug. Throughout the day I kept thinking about this peculiar quote and how insanely true it really is. It has a hint of metaphoric function for the case that specific verbiage doesn’t apply to any one specific person(s).

What really touched me about this idea is how we are living in a prison. We are bound by these shackles and chains that we become immune to noticing. I sometimes call it complacency. All too often the attitude of our society becomes uninspired to do anything worthwhile with our existence. Even if we don’t want to accomplish anything beyond what would benefit our own little life, why not do something at least?

A personal battle I fight on a daily basis is deciding whether or not to use my time wisely. I allow myself to function on the schedules and expectations of what society has set forth. I feel like it moves at a snails pace. I wonder ‘what’s the point’ of rushing only to find myself waiting for the rest of my life to catch up.

I then thought this… The rest of my life is what I need to change. This life that I’m not happy with isn’t worth waiting for. I am in fact working on changing it as my life commences at this moment in time. I have a few more months of school left before I hope to be able to start my life over once again. It’ll be rough this time because all I have is faith in myself that I can handle whatever I find myself up against. It better be a fun ride! I am making this next move in my life for something better. Something bolder.

Back to the quote above, I think about my off-time and how much I don’t actually do with it. My ‘drunken weekend’ is actually my job. I immerse myself in my duties to earn an income and I lose sight of the fact that I’m wasting my energy and knowledge on something that doesn’t really benefit me at all. The only thing my job gives me know is a little extra money to indulge on things that actually don’t do me a bit of good. Things, alcohol and random activities that fool me into thinking that I’m being productive with my life. I become tired and exhausted on a regular basis. I then fell like I’ve wasted evermore of my life by wanting to sleep all the time. It’s an ugly downward spiral and I’m really starting to despise it.

Now, it’s time for me to go to sleep. Hurumph.

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