This is yet another blast from my journal past… June 21,2005
This is obviously not meant to be read and understood as it is simply a personal journal entry but wading through the confusion it sparked my interest. I don’t even recognize it as me but it was in my handwriting. I wrote this during my first deployment to Iraq. Enjoy?
What is the outcome of overcoming fear and accepting death as reality? It’s the love for life. Aha!… Ok, so what now? How many of us have a love for life? Sure, many of us enjoy doing things and sharing time with others but do they know the reason? Some get it through faith in their religion, some get it just because it feels right and of course, some get it because they are outright crazy! Deep down feeling good about something you’ve done maybe. Truly helping others. Heck, aside from pride, getting helped feels good. As I write this I am trying to explore an area of life that is often taken for granted.
As I begin to live my life as I should, I will approach my goals with good intentions. If I have a setback at least I will know I have had at least the opportunity to have a setback. I will try to have integrity in more of what I do. Having integrity does not mean I have to please everybody. In fact, if I can get a day off by golly I’m going to take that day off because if I can’t help myself, how can I possibly take care of others? ‘Me’ time is valuable. It’s time to reflect on how I want to handle things when the pressure is on.
I have been feeling separated from others lately. Normally it would bother me, but for some reason I’m ok with it. It’s nice. I feel like I’m on track for once. I’m feeling a confidence boost. Instead of worrying what to say or how to say it, I find that not saying anything gets more accomplished. Sometimes people just don’t know when to stop talking.
I’m done for now…