Are you Fifty serious…?

As I age, my understanding of the female psyche dwindles away with each encounter. That is, because I’m usually held at bay. I know deep down why my presence commands a defensive stance from others. For some, it’s my apparent lack of character. My demeanor is less than intriguing. I get it.

In my less than important quest to figure something out about women, I decided to do the unthinkable. For a guy at least. I’m reading Fifty Shades of Grey. This admission may not shock anyone really. I’ve had a curiosity about this ‘craze’ going on so I figured I might as well see what the hype is about. I’m only about ten chapters into it and I’m a little perturbed

I’m gathering some things that are important to women. Sort of. Being that this book was written by a woman, I have to personally discount the inherent ability of this Christian Grey guy. If this is what women fantasize about and never seem to experience ever, then I am truly ashamed of men as a whole. I mean, sans the money and Adonis attributes, this sort of attention to passion shouldn’t be that far out of reach. Or is it, guys? Maybe it gets better in the book but his antics seem a little amateurish. He has it easy! This Ana is a virgin and has no basis of knowledge for what’s happening to her. If this was written for the point of view of a thirty-something, ‘well experienced’ woman who finds herself reacting the same way, maybe this Grey character would be a little bit more dynamic in his character.

I guess I’m writing a little prematurely about this book and what it has been doing to the loins of women all around, but it seems to be leading down a path that is really going to piss me off. I’ll read the series anyways. Next I’ll read the bible and subject myself to even more improper interpretations on how things should be in this world. I digress… Sorry for that last little bit.

If what’s going on even in the first few chapters makes women melt, then a message to my fellow male compadres… ‘Step your game up man!’ Understanding women like this Grey guy isn’t that hard… Well, assuming we can understand women enough to get them into the emotional position that this main character has found herself.

Women, quit being so damn difficult.

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