I say this to you…

I’ve been cheated on more times in my life than I’d care to really count. I’ve been cheated on by more girls than some people have had relationships their whole life. Makes me sound kind of whore-ish huh? Be careful, Oh Judgmental One…

I’ve never found it difficult to stay faithful to anyone. Not just about the sex or emotional stuff either. When I’ve decided to commit (whatever that really means) to someone, I do it because I want to, not because I feel I have to. Even with friends of either gender I feel no strain in keeping true to the relationship. That is of course until shit starts going down hill. I’m not saying I’ve never been the antagonist in a relationship but I truly do try to make an effort.

Without further bull, what I felt like writing about tonight was the art of making meaningful changes in your personal life when you are anything but happy.

I lost out on a good portion of my early twenties because I decided to stay with someone who betrayed me time and time again. (See blog post ‘slut’) Aside from the betrayal, I missed out on so many awesome things in life. For whatever reason, she wanted to live life on her terms. Period. Totally not in a bad way but it wasn’t quite the life I really wanted. I chose to stay with it though because I could not give up without a fight. In hindsight, I should have listened to the voice in my head that kept saying ‘she isn’t the one.’ Of course like many do, I convinced myself that maybe she was.

She should have left me the first time she cheated. Really. It wasn’t so much the fact that she was getting porked by some idiot friend of hers, but that she didn’t have respect enough for me to communicate that I apparently wasn’t making her happy enough. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why people cheat and try to hide it though. Her dragging me along for so long wasn’t her fault though. I decided to stay. I should have left the first time I found out. The first… time…

Another thing that bothers me that I discussed with someone today, is someone that talks about being unfaithful. Regardless if they intend to or not, it’s really stupid. Yea yea, you want to be seen as a bad ass that calls all the shots in your life. If that’s really the case then fucking do it already! Otherwise don’t be ashamed of the relationship you’ve committed to and shut your mouth!

Yea yea, you can water the grass on your side and it can be just as green as the other side. Sometimes though there is too much to deal with and it’s truly not worth it. There’s nothing wrong with realizing that you or the other person may be better off without each other. Your life is waiting… for you.

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