I received a compliment of sorts from a reader of my blog. Apparently I’m making this person think differently about their life. I’m flattered that what I communicate through writing is making some sort of impact on people. Thing is, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that right now. Every time I sit and write something, I feel as if I’m trudging through mud. It seems to be an indirect reflection of my life. Every day, every week, I wonder why the hell I do the things I do. I know in my heart what I want, but I’m letting myself down by not doing exactly what it is I know I need to do. It is of course my goal to have an impact on people at some level in my life, but what credibility does my muddy existence really have?
I sometimes think that I have too many wild expectations of things I want out of this life. Then I realize there’s nothing wild about any of it. What’s wild is the fact that we as humans, have created a society where we are bound by the status quo.
Complacency. Normalcy. Stagnation. Boredom. Resignation. Oppression. Regulation.
When it comes to the meat and potatoes of what really stops me from doing really amazing things in my life, it’s the lack of money. Call me Captain Obvious already.
What’s wrong with wanting to spend a week in Vegas followed by a week in New York, then onward to Europe and maybe French Polynesia? Why couldn’t I go scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef? Spend a few months in a Buddhist temple? Maybe buy and RV and travel around the US for a year. Follow a rock band on tour. Hell, maybe even go help some starving kids in Africa!
The problem that keeps any of this from happening is I have to do it alone. Not just from a ‘partner’ standpoint, but from a human standpoint. Who else in this world would be willing to accomplish this kind of life with me? And if someone is out there, do they understand what it entails? Unless I meet someone with a lot of cash in the bank, it’s going to take a lot of hard work and dedication for this kind of life. Reality is, two people can do it way easier than one alone. Screw having a nice car, a big house or lots of ‘things.’ It’d be like throwing some hot sauce on a backpacking trip through Europe.
To the root of the issue in my head, I wish people would take some time to come alive once in a while. Life is more than a good paying job or having a lifestyle worthy of bragging on Facebook. How many times have you said to yourself, ‘Man, I’d love to…?’ But you can’t right? The only thing really stopping you is that little apostrophe inviting in that pesky ‘T’.
Our society is the apostrophe. It’s the love of money and status over happiness. It’s accepting the notion that we have to settle for less than amazing. It’s about not offending others when we live our life loudly. This apostrophe needs to mind it’s own fucking business. Get rid of it once and a while. It’s dead-weight. Just like an overprotective insecure boyfriend. The biggest reason why they’re afraid of you doing what makes you truly happy, is they realize they won’t be able to compare to what you have found. What would this apostrophe do without a purpose!? Well, it could be the ‘butler’ that you enlist to bring attention to the ‘fire inside you.’
So you have a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend… So what? Bring em’ along or be sure to write them letters as much as you can. Kids? Sure you have to take care of them, but how cool would it be when they have grand kids and can tell stories about how Mom or Dad did really cool shit in their life? It doesn’t even have to involve traveling, or being away… It just has to do with living your life by charting your own course, not following in the mess that people before you create. You already have a good job and decent place to live and friends and blah blah blah? Good for you. No really, good for you. If that’s what makes you happy then by all means, rock it! I’m not knocking any one particular way of living, unless its not the way you want to truly live.