I went to the local watering hole to meet up with a friend and unwind for the night. It was a fairly un eventful night. Aside from getting schooled in a few rounds of scrabble, I was doing quite alright for the night. It was a decent day, visited a local dance studio and confirmed that any sort of formal dancing is non-existent in Moses Lake. I was able to take a good ride on the Harley as well. I had forgotten about my loss of faith in humanity until tonight.
“You are a stupid fucking bitch. You know that? I can’t stand the sight of you.”
Those were the words of a worthless piece of shit sitting at the bar tonight. An overweight worthless pile was talking to his wife this way without any reservations. He was forty maybe. Looked like a backwoods hillbilly mechanic that sees society maybe twice a month. (Not to relate a backwoods hillbilly mechanic to being a dirt bag, but for descriptive purposes). Him and his buddy won two hundred on the pull tabs and felt like they were high rollers or something. Loud and obnoxious is describing it lightly.
An older Spanish lady came walking up behind me and then on to the stool between the two guys. General conversation ensued and I thought nothing of it.
Until (see above). He begun speaking to her in Spanish when it became apparent that everyone else could hear what was being said. Not that speaking Spanish isn’t a great disguise in this neck of the woods but I guess he thinks white guys like me can’t piece together bits of another language that I hear every day.
Anyhow, the typical ‘abusive husband’ dialogue went on for quite a while until he finally gave her permission to get out of his life and leave. Needless to say, she left and his buddy consoled him while he began to get mopey and sad about everything… Poor guy…
Poor guy my ass. He needs his testicles ripped off and shoved down his throat while being skull fucked by an elephant. Sorry for the harsh words. An elephant deserves better.
Before continuing on my rant about these kinds of men, I do understand that it takes two to tango. And I do understand that abuse can go both ways. Stubbornness gets people what they ask for by ignoring the advice of other people. “Hey, that guy you’re seeing is a douche, maybe you should reconsider…” Doesn’t seem to get absorbed into naive minds. Anyways… With that disclaimer;
Men who abuse their wives or girlfriends or even ex’s should quite honestly be ashamed of themselves. Do us all a favor and quit existing. Period. I’m quite used to being around hot headed, insecure, immature male gender human beings. Their arrogance and pseudo-alpha male behavior is not only stupid, it’s about as good as them putting a Tap-Out sticker on their cars and calling themselves an MMA fighter. This guy tonight was forty something and spoke as if he was ‘the shit.’ Insecurity at its finest. Nothing new to me.
My deep down issue comes when guys impose their insecurities on women in their life. The woman may have been stupid enough to stay with the guy in the first place, but it gives these idiots no right to treat them less than any human ever deserves. Of course the reasonings for their actions could come from insecurities about having a small penis, maybe they’re fat or unable to get an erection. Maybe they fantasize about having sex with their mothers. Maybe they feel the need to compensate for the fact that they are dumb as bricks and couldn’t visualize how to walk and chew gum at the same time. Maybe they are traumatized by the fact that once girls found out what they’re all about they got dumped. The lengths that guys will go to announce their claim on something they deem as personal property astounds me.
Sadly, abusive men have no clue what they are doing. They think they are right no matter what. Just like a juvenile who thinks they know everything before even being allowed to be out past curfew, abusive and controlling people can’t see past their own ignorance. It doesn’t even have to be physical or direct verbal abuse either. It could be passive aggressive tendencies that make someone feel uncomfortable or apprehensive to do anything out of the norm, including leaving.
I used to be a jealous boyfriend. Thoughts of my girlfriend betraying me consumed my life. I thought I knew how everything should be and that was that. I’m not going to say that I’m completely void of jealousy now, but I’ve taken some big steps in my life to alleviate those kinds of emotions. I’ll be damned if someone claims they don’t have jealous or insecure tendencies at some point in their life. One of the big motivators for me to try and change was seeing the progression of others go from simple jealousy to inescapable control to physical violence. I’m not a violent person by nature but remembering how I was raised could very well bring out some repressed feelings if I end up losing control in my own life.
Some level of insecurities can be normal for sure. Just as a flu vaccine gives you a small dose to avoid an outbreak, accepting undeniable feelings can be the best thing for maintaining control overall. I think educating women on the signs of a potentially abusive partner is about as important as anything in this matter. Here’s my attempt at a list of markers…
Inconsideration – not just for you, but for others. Are they cognizant of how their actions are affecting other people? Even in normal interaction with people. If they don’t consider the feelings of someone who ultimately does them no good, what makes you think that they will never treat you the same way.
Cocky persona – Awesome, they have a fast car… But it is probably financed beyond their means and more than likely consigned by mom or dad. They seem to care too much about their appearance. They’re obviously trying to impress people. He stands ready to defend himself if anyone questions his credibility. And if you ever get out of line he just may want to pop you out of existence just like a pesky pimple. (This paragraph is rich with metaphors)
Alcohol – no brainier right? I’m talking irresponsible alcohol use. Watch their actions after a few or even more drinks. Same as when sober, watch how he treats other people. Complete strangers as well. In the early stages they may seem like one of those fun drunks but watch when things don’t go their way. The protectiveness they exhibit over you may be flattering at first, but once they become bored with you after having three kids, you better not overstep your bounds when he’s a loaded cannon. He may have protected you when you were a hot piece of ass, but threaten his manhood and you might not get out alive. So many more aspects to the alcohol variable but this is simply what’s rolling off my mind right now.
Friends – Or lack thereof. The company one keeps says a lot about their character. Does your ‘faithful man’ spend his time with single and carefree young’ns? Is he picky with the appearance of his friends? What about his actions with other women? I generally find that low life abusive scum wads don’t have true long term friendships with people from their past. They are more like acquaintances. Do friends come and go all the time? If their friends keep a distance… From them… Take heed.
Sensitivity – Not sugar coating this one. Overly sensitive guys are unstable. Way worse than guys with no admittance of sensitivity. If you’re pandering to his mommy issues on a weekly or daily basis, he’s got problems. This is the twenty first century as well. Confessing eternal love for someone is just weird. Not to say that it isn’t possible, but more than likely the only reason some of these twits do these things is because they know they will probably never do as good as you if they lose you, so they get desperate and make you apprehensive to consider leaving. I admit, I’ve cried for girlfriends. If I could go back in time I’d throat punch myself for doing that.
Bedside manners – Another no brainier but no sugar coating here either. Most guys truly do think with their penis. Some simply want to feel comforted and coddled. However some guys simply want to experience intercourse and ejaculation with a woman to exhibit the apparent control they have over them. ‘Making love’ is something they only understand to be in movies and Shakespeare. This is what separates the men from boys. Men know how to deal with the fact that pussy doesn’t just come to them at will. Boys feel the need to prove themselves by playing mind games that us guys know how to do all too well. Thence, they will find themselves consumed with irrational emotions, causing a downward spiral effect.
Their life – Often overlooked, the relative success that a person has in their life may influence how they treat someone else. Inadequate career progression can be just as humiliating as having an inoperable tiny penis. Except everyone can see it. They will make up for their lack of worth in the world by creating an unstable and often meaningless life for their girlfriends, wives or even families. Think of the stories where men don’t want women to surpass them in the working world, so they find ways to inhibit progression outside of their influence. It bothers me to hear a man insist that she won’t work and she will be a housewife or stay at home mom. Unless she’s into that then she better be prepared for potential consequences. Modern society has warned you.
It’s a lame list I know, it’s based on my judgement of douchebags that I’ve met in my life. Some are harmless, but the ones that take it a little too far seem to have these things in common. There’s probably a hundred other signs that a person could become just like the sack of coincidently placed cells resembling a sack of dog crap that I ran into tonight. I also purposely left out a great deal of the violence aspect. I’m quite sure the guy tonight beats his wife at home. Probably rapes her when he’s feeling horny after watching porn or women’s volleyball. It’s a whole other realm of disgust that I have for these people and tonight I feel the need to avoid antagonizing thoughts.