Because of my current state of mind, I chose to google some blog ideas tonight. I’m hesitant to open up about several things in my life right now because I don’t want to afford any more of my life towards unnecessary drama. So anyhow, I found an idea to write something hypothetical. Even in the last twenty seconds I’ve thought of all kinds of scenarios in my life that could be different ‘if only’ things happened a little bit different in my past.
I’m reminded of an obscure meeting with an individual about twelve years ago. I still have his phone number memorized. He was an obnoxiously wealthy individual who had his hands in several night clubs and entertainment venues. A life was laid out for me that would put me in a far different spot than I am now. For reasons that I don’t fully understand right now I chose to push aside the notion. As with many things in my life, knowing I could have, is simply all I need.
I then think about the possibilities of what would have happened if I didn’t choose to join the military when I did. My life at that point was at one of the lowest of lows. If I didn’t make that jump, would I even be able to sustain myself? Would I even be alive?
If I didn’t call some random airport while I was debating selling my restaurant would I have even been going to flight school? Or even writing this blog? What if I said no to the ridiculous offer that I accepted for my place? If I kept my place open would I have made the choice to open multiple locations? If I didn’t fire my manager would things have worked out differently? What if I chose not to break up with my ex, or not come home one night to get my daughter’s mom pregnant? What if I pulled the trigger?
It’s hard for me to deny the fact that our lives mean something greater than we give credit for. I don’t feel quite comfortable claiming divine intervention with crossroads but I do feel that we are meant to experience certain things in this life.
Funny thing I’ve realized about hypothetical situations… What if instead of thinking of changing our past choices, we change what we decide right now. What if I woke up tomorrow, quit school, sold off everything and moved to South America? Maybe I go get rid of everything, get a blue water boat and sail for the next five years. I could move to Alaska and work some crab boats for a while. Work on a cruise ship maybe? Or get back into trucking and drive for the next few years? What if I proposed to someone, got married? Maybe I can tell someone to fuck off and die? Or better yet, go donate a kidney to a random stranger. How about I simply wake up tomorrow and decide to do exactly what I’ve been doing for the last thirty two years of my life? When I’m taking my last few breaths in this life I really hope I don’t regret not making a change right now.
Hypothetically speaking, I could do anything I want in this life. And so could you.