Nothing much for tonight. Trying to write what is on my mind right now could quite possibly drain me into a coma. I was able to stand up to some personal demons tonight and am perfectly ok with who I am and what I believe in.
I believe life should be good. My ultimate dream would be to live on a sailboat with a floatplane beached nearby. I would fly tourists around for just enough money to buy food, shelter and an occasional good time. I know full well that this would not suit just anyone. This is my dream. This is my blog.
As might be expected if you keep up with my life, is the fact that having someone by my side would make it a million times better.
One of the things I’ve realized again tonight is to never settle. I don’t want to settle for something just because its convenient. I don’t want to settle for a wife that simply fits the mold. I don’t want to settle for a career simply because it makes money. I don’t want to raise my kids to a lower standard just because its easy. I want to expect consideration. I want to expect faithfulness. I want to expect honesty, truth and integrity. I want to have a feeling in my gut and not feel bad about trusting it.
I don’t want to hold back any more. I’ve never been a violent person but I really feel like getting in a good bar fight. I want to speak my mind from everything that I believe I’ve earned in this life the far. I want to humble someone’s ego. Soon my friend. Soon.
Thou I promised candid and open discourse within this blog, I have yet to truly open up. Thus far it has only been communication about certain topics that I have strong feelings for. I have some three hundred days left in this goal and as I go along I hope to follow a dialogue along changes that I hope to make in my life. Did that even make sense? It barely made sense to me.
Seem people can express themselves through art and music, some through poetry and some through writing. I generally think writing is my outlet but I wonder if there’s something that I don’t know of yet that would better suit my own expression. Maybe I just need to get through the next few months to hone in on my self appointed talent.