There are quite a few blogs that I read that inspire thoughts of not only what I’d like to write about, but how I’d like to live my life. As technical as I am, I have yet to master the skill of linking to these blogs from within the WordPress app. Anyways, I was reading one today from ‘The Better Man Project’ and it struck a few chords in me. It discussed the role of blame as it pertains to how we deal with life. We can’t blame others for how we react to our current situations. Ideally, this makes sense and it is a waste of time and energy to make excuses for how things are. I often re-read writings of mine and think, ‘sheeze, I need to stop with the reasoning and excuses and just accept things for what they are and move on with life.’ But then I come to terms with the fact that the way I choose to live my life is my choice. If someone doesn’t like it then what do I care? Why would they care?
I see the stats and I notice a lot of people read my blog every day. Maybe it’s different people on any given day, but still quite impressive. Assuming that people are truly reading what I write I figure I’d set something straight.
This is a 365 blog. It is a reflection of how I feel about things in my own life, and observations of situations that I’m around. Life is a progression from one level to another. Sometimes we go up, sometimes we go down. I’d love to write about happy and cheery stuff all the time. I’ll get there someday. My thoughts on life are a little harsh right now. I have owned up to being responsible for everything that I’m choosing to be surrounded by. It’s not all bad and the lessons I’m learning are going to be at least valuable to me, and maybe to someone who’ll listen to me down the road.
Though this blog is a distinct reflection of who I am right now, it should not be a single basis for judgement as to what kind of person I really am as a whole. That being said, the idea that we just need to let things go is grossly misinterpreted. The past is in fact, the past. I won’t argue that. Our pride will inhibit us from admitting that past events really do dictate how we deal with our current life circumstances. Some of us hide behind quotable quotes and preach values that we can’t even live by so we stick the judgement onto others. Truth is, it’s easier to see the apparent faults in others and not ourselves.
I going to beat someone to the punch and ask myself the question, ‘If you hate it so much, why don’t you just leave?’ I am going to leave, just as I’ve done several times in my life. I feel no need to explain myself beyond reason as to why I choose to put up with stuff and then bitch and whine about it on a semi-public forum. It goes back to what this blog is all about. My candid thoughts and feelings. No sugar coating or fronting about how I see life. My life. My approach may not be the most desirable in other’s eyes but it’s what feels natural to me. Be careful if you ever ask for more truth from me as well. Sometimes my filter is out for service and I might just piss you off.
Instead of taking advice from armchair preachers and pretending like I’m above all the things that trouble me, I want to get to the root of the matter. It truly is me that is the problem in my life. The people and things that annoy me will never really cease. Just as traffic jams delay the commute and computer viruses cease the computing, its simply a fact of the world that we live in. Those things are not the problem though. I want certain things out of this life. I have no specific definition of what I want. Times I’ve tried to define it has yielded skewed visions of what my past has molded me into thinking happiness is. Hence, I lay it all out on the line in a medium such as this and maybe I can discover something beyond my meaningless life. Life has a different purpose for everybody here. I realize that my existence on earth will eventually become nothing more than a name in a record book, just as we see when researching ancestors now. What’s the point then? Who knows and who cares. I’m willing to accept whatever this life has in store for me. Along the way I’ll simply play the part that I’m called for and do it the best I can.